Previously, on my FB shoutout: "People will be there to share your sorrows but never your joy". I've friends asking me if I'm fine and what made me think so.

I realise this is part of the human nature. When you're depressed, there will DEFINITELY be people out there to console you and tell you that you're not alone. ONLY those who truly love you will not utter a word but stand silently by your side and catch you when you fall. As a matter of fact, people prefer to hear the negative stuffs that happen to help them feel better of themselves. Thinking, I'm luckier than her and I've whatever she don't.

When you've wonderful news and happiness you wanna share and spread the joy, not everyone will take it in with an open heart. What you get will be a smile and a brush you away statement saying, "Oh! Good for you or well done". And they will say no more. People will always have the tendency to wanna outdo each other. So ya, that's why I always believe that people can never share your joy. Disagree? Prove me otherwise. :)

As I watch Landis grows each day, I question myself, "Am I being a good enough mummy for him?" I told my mum the other day... "What's the 'definition' of a good mummy? It would be much easier if there's a guide book for mummy!" And of cos, she flashed me the you-must-be-crazy look. LOL.

My mum is a role model to me. Is really hard to live up to her standard but irregardless, I'm still trying. She told me being a good mummy is to understand your child and give him what he needs NOT what he wants. Putting your children as your first priority and sacrificing ALL your personal leisure for them. Is more like getting your children evolve in your life. To many, these are easier said than done. BUT my mum does it ALL. Even till today, my parents are supposed to join their friends on a holiday to Hokkaido, Japan. But because of work and their timing is near to my delivery, they for go it. I'm thankful for their act of loves for us.

After thinking hard for days, I conclude that I may not give Landis the most lavished parties, the high-end clothing or even get him the most sophisticated toys. But I know that I've given him all my unconditional loves, hugs, kisses, protections & education. Even if one day, we may be able to lead a extravaganza life, I will NOT educate him in a way that power and money is everything. I would still want him to learn that life is MORE THAN managing a listed company, or going for high end parties and all the material & plastic images portrayed.

People may think I'm NUTS to not hope for luxurious life; for my sons. Seriously, when you think about it, that's where human lose all their moral values and conscious to. I don't want that for my sons. I just want them to learn and practice to be a righteous leader yet a good follower, be someone people will look up to because of his fairness and good personalities, and be able to do goods to our society. That will be good enough for me, and to then, I'll truly know that I've been a good mummy to them. :)

Vacation, vacation, vacation... :D

This morning, my hubby was asking me AGAIN; "Have you decided on where you wanna go after you deliver our second boy?"

He is planning on bringing me oversea to take a break from EVERYTHING... But then again, I'm not even sure if I can bear to part with my 2 boys. Anyways, he gave me 7 locations to choose from.

1. Japan
2. Korea
3. Maldives
4. New Zealand
5. Australia
6. Hawaii
7. Bintan - I told him, "You can go there yourself hor!" LOL... :D

Its really hard to make a choice. BUT!!! I asked him, if he will be providing a sum of shopping fees, I dun mind Japan. WAHAHAHA!

And he replied, "SEE HOW!". Oh well, I still have MONTHS to think about it. For my siblings & friends, you can leave a message in my Cbox on which country you think I should visit. Till then, I'll ask him to be patient and wait for my final answer. :D

Hi all. YES! The gender of my second baby is out! IS A BOY! :D We're overjoyed and Landis is not going to be lonely anymore. :) The detailed scan on the 17th June had great news for us; as we found out that our lil darling is healthy and active. Papa Toh was smiling like a loony during the scan. LOL!!! I know he is delighted and excited. :)

Here I share a link that one of my friend, Avryl posted. This is indeed what marriage and love is all about. Check it out. :)

I got to cut short my post as I'm not in my best these few days. Bad headaches, but no worries, I'll Be Back once I'm better. :) Peace Out. :)

For the past 2 days, my (secondary school) classmates were "debating" in Facebook; on how Landis or other kids should address them. And laughing at the wrongly tagged names. Mostly cos, of the "bodily figure" difference between the two guys. Thou is NOT really that obvious in the photo, I find it really hilarious that the guys were soooooooo particular bout it. :D

Anyways, we're STILL trying to fix a date to meet up and laugh some more. Till then, we will be terrorising each other FB page. LOL. :D

Happy Vesak Day, Peeps! :)

I manage to sleep in alittle today. Last night was pretty much of a good night. :) Thou my hubby was on night duty, I've got a couple of great companions (Zhen Xin and Mike). They dropped by to pass me a pair of shoes they bought for Landis, and we chatted for bout an hour when suddenly heads popped out of my window!!! :) Surprisingly, my siblings popped by to eat supper with me!!! PRATAS with CURRY at 11pm (the cause of my tummy ache this morning! LOL!)!!! :) And of cos, we chatted till early dawn. :D I seriously loveeee them to bits!!!! :)

Something reflective happened yesterday. My mum's customer came by, together with her mum; who seem alittle mental unwell. Her daughter was there to tailor more clothes for her mum and at the same time bringing her around leisurely. After they left, I told my mum,

"This is what we called 'unconditional love', isn't it? Look, her daughter doesn't care bout how people look at them and still spend TIME and LOVE on her mum this way. Most people we know will either grumble is too troublesome to bring the elderly out or practically keep them shut at home or worst, old folks home."

Distinctively at the same moment, an incident my mum told me years back strike me. Previously, at a wet market near our workplace, a blind elderly lady was abandoned by her son and her daughter-in-law. They drove her from their home (which was nowhere near the East) to that specify wet-market and asked her to wait for them while they shop for groceries. She sat waited and waited till the NEXT day.

When some of the stall owners saw her in the morning, they asked her how come she was still there? She told them that her son and daughter-in-law had asked her to wait for them while they buy the groceries and she was wondering what was taking them so long. When the stall owners told her that she had already sat there for a day, she burst-ed into tears! A police report was made and guess what? Her son WAS actually a SCHOOL PRINCIPAL!!! Notice I use WAS, cos after this incident he was terminated!

How can a child be so heartless to abandon his own parent? How can he sleep at night? After suffering so long to bring him up and this is how he repay her by dumping her in a wet-market? I tear even when I think bout it. My mum knew it hit my weak spot and she told me that this is LIFE. An elderly once told her,


I made my conclusion, but it's more to my personal thoughts. I feel it's not on how well educated, rich and powerful a person maybe. I think is more to the character and the goodness of a person. Yes, some may say that goodness is inborn, but I think goodness can be cultivated as well. BUT of cos I do understand that there are sacrifices that have to be made when we're talking about being FILIAL. Its NOT just talks or even by giving our parents money monthly. Its so much more than that.

All in all, is just a simple question to ourselves. Are you WILLING to put your parents' thoughts and welfare before yourself, LOVE them and ACCEPT them even when old age handicapped their life and need to depend on you till their souls rest?

Well, my answer is for me to know and this's for you to be honest to yourself. :)

This is something I've been feeling for the past month. I'm not complaining but just trying to "flush" it out, of my system. No matter how nice or patience a person can be, there is ALWAYS a limit. When there are certain additional factors throw in, the tolerance level maybe effected too. I realise most people are too into "me, myself and I" and turn out not very compassionate or even sympathetic. Well, it's kinda sad but I'm much immune to it now.

People like to see what they wanna see, and hear what they love to hear. I can't possibly pleased everyone. I'm JUST a human as well. Seriously, I doubt even God can please everyone. I guess it's a norm to see me so quiet and solemn, but is not something I can control. I would love to be that hyper-cheerful-radiant-outgoing Kimberly, my loved ones and friends know and love. But at this moment in time, you seriously can't expect to find much of the energy ions in my body.

My body is screaming help, my mind is crowded with piles and piles of craps, my soul just wanna rest. But I can't possibly just throw everything aside to get the rest that I need. That would be too selfish of me to do so. I still have a family in my hands, especially my lil darling boy who needs me.

Maybe you would say, because you can't let go and be selfish that's why you are suffering. BUT I would love to think that because I can't let go, that's why I keep pushing on; my son is that special motivation for me to move on and my husband is that pillar that I always lean on when I need a breather. :)

It will be another few months before the arrival of my lil darling, so till then, I'll just be known as the ICE QUEEN!!! LOL!!! After November, the reborn Kimberly will be BACK. This, I PROMISE. :)

P.S: Dear Hubby, I know you tried all means to get me out of the house and chill. BUT, for now, I prefer to stay home, rest and be embrace with the love you and Landis shower on me. :) I'm too exhausted to even talk, remember? Bear with me, hun. :)

P.P.S: My baby's gender will be known in 17th June. I will update soon again IF my dizziness can spare me from time to time. :) Loves~

a patch of heaven where i'm seen as who i am.
a patch of space where you'll see what i scribble.


Catty.
Jessy.
Alexy.
Rebecca.












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